Here are all of the memories I can recall from the fall that Trevor entered third grade:
Third Grade Struggles
Third grade has brought a whole new set of struggles with increased complexity. The first-grade boys in Trevor’s E1 classroom had a difficult time adjusting to their new class, causing a lot of upset feelings and disruption for the other students. Tru was devastated when he overheard them saying things like, “I hate the teacher,” “I hate school,” and even, “I hate myself.” (How could a child so young even think that?!) I believe it shocked Tru so much because he had never even considered such thoughts himself.
On top of that, these boys used extremely foul language—Trevor came home having learned several new swear words. Worse, they were physically aggressive too. One boy hurled his stainless steel water bottle at another first-grader, hitting him in the head. Another boy saw Trevor absentmindedly tipping back in his chair and decided to shove it to the ground.
During those early days, I experienced every possible emotion—from fear for his safety at drop-off to outright anger at these boys’ parents. (How could they allow this kind of behavior?!) Chris and I even sat down with his teacher in September to better understand what was going on.
But as I write this in February 2025, Trevor tells me that all of these boys have improved so much. I credit his amazing teacher, Jane, who seems to know just how to work with each individual child to bring out the best in them while soothing and healing their struggles.
That doesn’t mean third grade has been smooth sailing. Trevor is extremely sensitive to interpersonal relationships and has encountered many conflicts with his two best friends. He struggles when they don’t want to do the same work projects as he does, and they often fight over who gets the most time with whom. It’s real work for me not to get completely drawn into the drama myself!
I’ve written before about how it often feels like I experience Tru’s pain ten times more intensely than he does. One time, he told me that several third-grade girls were making fun of him in art class, and I could feel all the energy drain from my body. It’s as though I care too much to be able to handle it!
I started Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy after my injuries left me depressed, and I’ve noticed I tend to approach Trevor’s struggles in the same way I approach my own—I get stuck in my head, trying to analyze every possible solution. But in IFS therapy, the goal is to shift into a place of peace and love, bringing compassion and calm to the triggered aspects of your mind. I’m trying to apply that approach to Tru as well—helping him feel calm and loved within himself before attempting to think through solutions.
Third Grade Joy
Of course, third grade has brought plenty of joy too! This year, Trevor’s school introduced a free breakfast and lunch initiative, which has been wonderful for both of us. He’s been open to trying new foods at lunch (maybe because he sees all of the other kids enjoying the same foods), and I no longer have to pack one every day!
He’s formed close friendships with three boys—Ben and Harrison (both third graders) and Jack (a second grader). I’ve become great friends with Jack’s mom and we’ve done several playdates – meeting up at mini golf courses and playgrounds. We have as much fun chit chatting as the boys do playing!
Trevor loves group projects at school and often says he can’t stand working independently. That always surprises me since I’m the polar opposite—I’ve always preferred to work quietly alone. But for Tru, being alone is a real struggle. At home, he always wants to be near Chris or me. I remember sitting for hours in my bedroom alone at his age, playing with my dolls. Tru, on the other hand, has never—not once—played in his bedroom alone!
Recently, he and his friends created an intricate and detailed amusement park project called “Park Invader.” It featured a manmade volcano with a hotel and roller coaster, plus several extreme rides. They even wrote books with characters that they plan to feature in the amusement park, including A Big Fat Dog—a 20-page story full of aliens and outer space adventures. It’s hilarious and so imaginative! I love that his school encourages this kind of free creative exploration. Who knows—maybe we have the next Walt Disney on our hands!
Tru also starred in a class play this fall about the development of mathematics in early human history. Dressed in a toga-style white sheet, he delivered his lines loud and clear. He’s a natural public speaker and could be a great actor, but whenever I suggest drama club or learning an instrument, he tells me he’s not interested.
Tru’s Favorites
Favorite subjects in school: math, engineering, gym class, recess
Favorite songs: Tru went to a Luke Bryan concert with Chris and had a blast. His favorite songs became “Love You, Miss You, Mean It” and “Roller Coaster” (for obvious reasons)
Favorite foods: certain types of chicken nuggets (such as Wendy’s), Tropical Smoothie Cafe smoothies, grilled cheese, cheese quesadilla, penne with butter, sugar cookies from Panera, ice cream, cheese pizza, cheese ravioli, soft pretzels, cookie dough yogurt, bagels with cream cheese, donuts with sprinkles
Favorite after-school activity: golf (although he loves soccer, basketball, baseball, and hockey as well)
Favorite trip: amusement parks, especially anything with giant roller coasters!
Mystery History
For his Mystery History presentation this year, Tru chose to dress up as his Grampy, which was so special. It was entirely his idea. One evening, he called Grampy to interview him about his career in Major League Baseball, then wrote a beautiful report. My parents drove down for the presentation, and my dad gave Trevor his old Astros jersey to wear. Tru looked adorable, completely swimming in that vintage yellow-and-orange-striped jersey. I think it was really meaningful for my dad to experience that; Trevor admires him so much for making it all the way to the Major Leagues.
Glasses and Braces
Tru has faced some physical struggles as well. He was diagnosed with nearsightedness in second grade and now wears daily disposable contacts. I’m so proud of his determination to learn how to wear them, but it saddens me that someone so young has to deal with something so demanding. He’s diligent about scrubbing his hands before putting in his contacts—so much so that I sometimes worry he’s developing OCD. At the same time, he’s had conjunctivitis four times since starting contacts, so he’s really forced focus on good hygiene.
He also received a palate expander this year. Each night, Chris uses a small tool to turn the expander, gradually widening his palate. Tru has never once complained—he’s such a trooper! But he struggles with eating, as food gets stuck in the wire. Some of his favorites, like fruit snacks, are now off-limits, and he even finds oranges difficult to eat, which kills me because he had just started liking them!
Despite these challenges, Tru finds the bright side in everything. He’s become great friends with his eye doctor and orthodontist, chatting non-stop and asking a million questions. Chris told me that at one appointment, Tru and the orthodontist got so caught up in a discussion about golf that a staff member had to pop in and remind the doctor he was late for his next appointment! Tru teaches me every day that there’s always a silver lining.
Tru as an Athlete
Tru continues to be passionate about sports! We golfed as much as possible, even into early November. I love getting onto the course in the fall, when the weather is crisp and cool and the foliage is beautiful. Later into fall, the biggest challenge on the course is finding the golf ball in the endless piles of leaves!
Tru also loved playing soccer this season and was invited to join a special elite team. Chris also continues to coach his elite travel hockey team called the Warriors. In addition, Tru also plays for a local team called the Junior Maples.
This fall, during school vacations, I sometimes had to bring Tru to my personal training sessions. He was beyond thrilled to explore the weightlifting equipment and kept asking, “What’s the heaviest weight you can lift?” He always talks about his plans to become “a big beefy dude,” which cracks me up.
The Sweetest Things
This fall, Trevor became obsessed with Winnie the Pooh. We read the beautiful hardcover collection together every night, and when we finished, we started it again from the beginning. He laughed out loud at the silly characters and situations. That was one of my favorite parts of the day, cuddling up with Tru in his bed to get lost in a good book!
Since Tru is normally up at 6am and we don’t leave for school until about 8, in the mornings after some cuddles in my bed, we’d sometimes curl up on the couch to watch the classic Disney Winnie the Pooh cartoons. He’d sometimes bring down his Winnie the Pooh ‘Tru Crew’ members, including Eeyore, Pooh, and Tigger.
Speaking of Tru Crew—it’s still growing! His toy box is overflowing with beloved stuffed animals that spill onto the floor. Some of his favorites: Buff Bobby (a giant panda Chris won at a carnival), Wisdom (a sea turtle from SeaWorld), Clearbow (a giant sloth from Hershey Park), and his Minions (Fred, Banana, and Dinion).
And speaking of Winnie the Pooh – Tru was so obsessed with Winnie the Pooh this fall, he decided to wear a Pooh costume for Halloween! I loved this one because I thought to myself, “this might be the last cute, cuddly Halloween costume I ever see on Tru!” He even stuffed his belly with a pillow and carried a pot of honey! He was invited to his neighbors’ house (Emma and Cora) for their annual Halloween party, and he had so much fun running through the neighborhood with his neighborhood friends to collect lots of candy. He even grabbed a few of my favorite candy just for me (Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups). He’s a sweetheart who thinks of such things! My feet were injured for this Halloween (just like my ankle and knees were injured last year), so I experienced my second year of doubting my abilities to simply walk through the neighborhood. I ended up walking a bit of the way with Trevor and then just heading straight home to get up off my feet. Luckily, I had sweet Cal waiting for me when I got home!
We still love baking together, making peanut butter oat balls and pumpkin muffins. We even took a few cooking classes, where we made homemade ravioli (which he devoured) and turkey cupcakes.
And Cal adores Tru, but the way. I’ll often find Cal curled up near Tru’s feet on the couch in the morning before school. Sometimes, Tru asks for to have a sleepover with Cal (since Tru can’t stand to ever be alone!) So Chris will put him up on Trevor’s bed for a little while (Cal can’t stay overnight since he might try to jump off the bed which could re-injure his back). Trevor will cluelessly kick Cal in the face without even realizing what he did, but Cal doesn’t hold a grudge. And he loves to sniff around Tru’s ears – I think he loves Tru’s “sugar sweet” scent as much as I do! They are so cute together.
Even More Special Times
Tru’s team was again able to go out on the ice during intermission at a Bruins game! We brought both Chris’ parents and my parents to the game, so my car was filled to the brim on the drive to Boston! My feet and knees were in pain at the time, so I remember my anxiety attack thinking about all the concrete stairs at Boston TD Garden. Our seats were way up in the nosebleeds too! Nonetheless, Trevor was so excited for the opportunity.
We also checked an item off my lifelong bucket list – to see the Northern Lights! Chris has an app on his phone that alerts him if the Northern Lights might be available in our area. One night, an alert popped up so he piled us into the car at about 8pm one evening and drove us to the beach. Chris thought there might be less light pollution on the beach and maybe the Northern Lights might be more visible. We shivered on the beach for a while (the wind off the ocean was cold!) but didn’t see much of anything. We decided to stop at the soccer field across from our neighborhood before heading home for one last try. And pretty much as soon as we arrived, the Northern Lights lit up the sky! So yes, we saw the Northern Lights, basically in our own backyard! The colors were quite vibrant and dramatically stretched across the night sky. In the photo, it actually looks even brighter than in person. But we definitely saw some very vibrant red and green colors! We all just put our arms around each other and oohed and aaahed about the spectacle. That was really amazing and something I wasn’t sure I’d ever see in my lifetime, and I got to see it in my own backyard!
We also did our annual fall trip to the farm to pick apples and select pumpkins to decorate the porch. Tru found two massive orange pumpkins this year! Mimi and Grampy were able to join us this year as well!
Every day with Tru is an adventure—full of challenges, growth, laughter, and love. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
