Here’s why I’m forgetting about the number on the scale or the size on the tag and focusing on how I feel instead…
In what ways has the pandemic changed you?
I feel changed in a hundred ways. I could fill a whole blog post on that one question alone!
But here’s one specific thing the pandemic has made me want: a healthy body (of course!).
Like a lot of people now, I want to feel as empowered, strong, and fit as possible.
Here’s the thing though: over this long quarantine, I’ve actually moved in the opposite direction.
People deal with negative emotion in a million ways but, for me, I’ve done a lot of overeating without fully acknowledging it. When I feel stressed or overwhelmed or sad, I just mindlessly snack as a way of coping.
So moving forward with my blog, I’d like to focus on and explore this area where I’ve struggled.
I want to figure out why I’ve wrestled so long with body image, food, and weight.
More than anything, I plan to heal this.
I’m Getting Down To The Heart Of The Matter
When I’m honest with myself, I think there are a few key reasons why I’ve been on a weight-loss/weight-gain roller coaster:
- My self-worth has been wrapped up in how I look.
- I’ve labeled certain foods as “good”/”diet food” and others as “off-limits”/”bad.”
- I tend to rely on food as a temporary “fix” for difficult or overwhelming emotions.
Here’s how the roller coaster always goes:
- Diet and exercise to hit a goal weight
- Give up somewhere along the way because I just can’t stand the strict diet or the grueling workouts
- Regain it all (plus some)⠀
After living through quarantine – and dealing with all of the overwhelming emotions that came up around that – I’m now at the highest weight I’ve ever been.
This beach pic is from a year ago.
At the time, I’d lost about 20 out of the 40 pounds of “baby weight” I’d gained during pregnancy.
These two photos show how I look now, having regained the 20 pounds (plus a few more).
I’m Dropping All Weight and Size Goals
I’m at a point where I don’t want to call one of these photos the “goal” or the “best” one.
I’m more interested in completely dropping all the labels.
My intention is more than surface-level appearance.
More than “hitting a goal weight,” what I care about is finally finding peace with food and my body.
Here’s what I’m done with, because I’ve been on the weight-loss/weight-gain roller coaster long enough to know that none of the following works:
- I’m done waging war against my body.
- I’m done forcing myself to eat “ultra healthy superfoods” that I think actually taste pretty gross.
- I’m done labeling myself “bad” because I eat a food I label “junk.”
- In fact, I’m done with labels of any kind.
- I’m done trying to contort myself to fit into a certain size.
- I’m done reducing myself to a number on the scale.
- In fact, I’m done with numbers and/or counting of any kind: calories, points, or carbs.
- I’m done beating myself up inside and criticizing myself for how I look.
I’m giving up the battle against food and my body.
I’m dropping all the surface-level stuff that doesn’t matter anyway.
I’m forgetting goals like “hitting my goal weight” or “fitting into jeans I wore when I was 18.”
I’m Focusing On How I Feel Instead⠀
Here’s what I’m doing instead: I’m focusing on how I feel.
And here’s what I want to feel: Health, Love, Appreciation, Fun, and Joy.
It’s really that simple. When it comes to food and my body, I’m shifting from war to love.
Moving forward, I’m setting brand-new intentions. These intentions have nothing to do with impressing or pleasing other people. Or number goals. Or food rules. These intentions are all about how I feel.⠀
I’m Setting New Body Love Intentions
Here are my new Body Love Intentions.
These intentions drop all labels and numbers.
They focus instead on feeling the most joy and acceptance toward food and my body:
- Take daily actions to feel my healthiest
- Take daily actions to feel fit and strong⠀
- Value my body and treat it with kindness⠀
- Be in tune with my body and listen to its cues⠀
- Feel at peace with my body⠀
- Find joy in food and exercise
How About You?
Are you ready to drop your “goal weight” and create your own set of Body Love Intentions instead?
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